"I've Always Depended on the Kindness of Strangers"

In high school, I can remember studying Tennessee Williams' "A Streetcar Named Desire" in both English 9 class with the esteemed Walter Robinson and in theatre class.  I can remember this because I enjoyed it was flat out obsessed with those deep South accents and twisty characters.  I enjoyed TN Wms so much, in fact, that I bring Streetcar up on my blog this very day.  Blanche DuBois, the fragile femme lead featured in the play, has a line she says right before she is taken away to a mental institution that always stuck with me...

"I've always depended on the kindness of strangers."



I believe the obvious interpretation on this line exposes Blanche's many inner weaknesses.  And you may say I am crazy and reaching far to make this connection... but in her largest moment of vulnerability, that is what Blanche DuBois chose to say... so I say...

What if we could all say this when we're at rock bottom?  Wouldn't it be nice if we also could depend on the kindness of strangers?

These are days where people must earn the trust of most people before anyone would let anyone depend of their kindness.  And kindness is not given freely as much as it needs to be.

Over the weekend, there was a car fire at the restaurant.  A severe blaze, really.  A mother and son who were coming to enjoy a Sunday meal at the restaurant, instead, were stunned as their transportation burned before their eyes.

Two twenty-something women were also dining with us Sunday. I should have checked them both for angel wings.  Of their own free choice, they took it upon themselves to stay with this family.  They came in and retrieved lemonades for them while they were dealing with the aftermath.  They walked in and checked them in to eat once the hustle had died down... and they even sat, hours after their own meal, with this mother and son while they had their meal.  These folks were complete strangers to them.  But these women chose to take their Sunday afternoon to comfort them with their company during this incident.  It really got me thinking... would I have taken the time to do that for someone I didn't even know?

These kind women were definitely my age... so you can't tell me it's because they are seasoned and have "life experience" that they stayed.  

It was a selflessness.  A purity of soul... it's what we should want to be.  We should want to provide any and every stranger with that special kindness that comes from within.  It speaks so much more powerfully than a message on the sleeve.

XOXO,

A Long Lost Blogger

Hi friends!

I told some of you I would be back after school let out for summer and I am meaning to tell you I cannot disappoint!  It's my first Monday off and here I am with some random thoughts... shocking.

I have realized I am a terribly inconsistent blogger.  And that's okay because most of the people who follow me are people I know and they understand my spasticness.  Thank goodness. :-)

What's shufflin' Early Summer 2011:
1. Can't Tell Me Nothing                       Kanye West
2. Every Teardrop is a Waterfall            Coldplay
3. Do It For You, Do It For Us             Ben Harper
4. Party Rock Anthem                           LMFAO
5. Knee Deep                                       ZBB and Jimmy Buffett
6. Tonight Tonight                                 Hot Chelle Rae
7. Rumour Has It                                  Adele
8. Tripping Billies                                  DMB
9. Alumni Blues                                     Phish
10. Summertime                                   Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff


Projects in Progress:
1. Walking dogs more frequently
Ivory's apparently overweight... apparently.. and now eating food she barely likes and on an exercise regimen.  Tassel, however, needs to gain weight, but also needs walks for his "separation anxiety and general anxiety issues"
2. Leveling my class library
This is going to be a beast but worth it.  I need to find the reading levels for all the titles I have so far for my classroom and organize the books into bins.
3.Wrapping up research and beginning writing for thesis ****** (Eighty thousand asterisks and emphasis!)
I'm not gonna lie, I'm behind... like possibly a month behind.  My personal goal is to have a first draft turned out by September.
4.Accumulating stuff for my classroom
Nuff said.


Projects Approaching:
1. Menu Planning System
Matt says I wander through the grocery store like a lost child.  He suggested I start being a more thoughtful consumer and plan the week's meals before setting foot in the store.
2. Couponing? (maybe?)
I am so intrigued, yet so intimidated.
3. Cricut Bulletin Board things (once I figure out which subject(s) I am teaching)
4. Painting upstairs bathroom
It needs a facelift.
5. Reading... for pleasure.
I want to read Water for Elephants.

Things I love lately:
1. Dried Mangoes
Yummo!
2. Burnett's Orange Cream Vodka
So classy right now and excellent in Orange Soda.
3. My Cricut
Best birthday gift in awhile from M.
4. Employment
So blessed to have a position for next year in third grade.
5. Where the Heart Is
I Netflixed this the other day and I had forgotten how excellent it is!

XOXO,

Things I have Missed Sharing! (Lengthy!)

1. I am back in the gym... 
And it is carnage.  It is a slow and sore start for which I am wholly responsible for having to endure.  Student teaching was kind of really hard on me- definitely the most stressful scholarly semester I have experienced ever.  Consequently as November soared in with multiple observations and essentially teaching full time for the first time, my gym visits rapidly declined.  I still went, but what good is it really to go twice a week (see Nest article in #6)?  Come December, I went a zero times.  These months of falling off the exercise (and eating) wagon have backtracked me considerably.  So here I go.  I am ready to be obsessed with how exercising feels again.  I'm tired of crying over Biggest Loser episodes, even though I still will. :)

I dropped my overpriced Gold's membership and moved my membership to Planet Fitness.  I like it a lot!  There are tons of machines and the environment is good.  I think I will be really happy there.  Shameless plug for Planet Fitness: I am paying 20 bucks/month for gym, unlimited guest privileges (basically, anyone can come with me as much as every day if they want. If ya wanna tag along, hit me up!), unlimited tanning (I am disgustingly white right now and feeling like ass because of that fact), unlimited massage chairs, half price drinks... it's just the way to go for me... This effectively save us $45.50/month between saved tanning and gym expenses.

2. I have developed a slight relationship with Jersey Shore for the first time. (Do you like how I had to share this one before number 3?)
How did I ever stay away from Snooki, JWoww, The Situation and the gang?!  I have been missing out on the trainwreck that is the Jersey Shore!!  Why didn't someone tell me of this trashy hilarity?  I'm sorry, but if you can't find any entertainment value in this show, it's your own fault.  It's a hilarious spectacle. I think I should make Jersey Shore names for all my friends...

3. I got a new job!
I am delighted to inform you all of my new job with a local elementary school!  I am helping about 10 students in grades 3-5 throughout most of their school day and for two hours every afternoon. (M-F 9-5).  These children are experiencing difficulties decoding and need help achieving in reading.  I am completely excited about starting this job and meeting these kids.  I am also excited that it could translate into a classroom position for next fall if I work hard and show I can get results!

4. The holidays went well.
This is worth saying.  We ran around the region over Christmas, but it is always like that.  As much as I love spending time with my family, sometimes I wish we could bring everyone to us.  Maybe when we have babes, this will be easier to accomplish.  I really want my kids to wake up slow at home on Christmas morning.

5. A few  Several unspoken resolutions:
1. Be a better friend, daughter, sister and wife.
I always want to do this.  I find it is more important now than ever.

2. Be more faith-full.
Not in my marriage, but in my heart.  I need to have more faith in God.  I want to be able to relinquish control of some of the plaguing situations I face, and know that He will take of it.  Maybe it won't be the way that makes sense to me, but it will be taken care of.

3. Get these floors/carpets redone in some capacity. 
I am tired of these shitty carpets.  So is Matt.  I believe this will be a tax refund investment.

4. Land a classroom teaching position.
I am closer all the time with my new position.  I still plan to apply to a few other districts across the region, too.

5. Concentrate on my fitness, not my impending baby fever.
This probably should be its own post, but alas...Since I was a little girl, I always knew I would be a mom.  To be honest, it might be is a stronger and more permanent aspiration than any other I have had.  Since about last summer, the baby fever is sweeping in.  And lately people all around me are pregnant and experiencing the miracle of birth.  I have a sorority sister who lives in Kentucky; I met her in Palm Springs for our soror's convention.  She and I managed to become facebook friends and I have followed her marriage and life virtually.  After a long bout of trying to conceive, she did.  She is a beautiful writer and has written about her pregnancy in a blog.  It brings tears to my eyes a lot of the time.  Things like that make me look forward to our time.  I have a new little cousin as of Monday.  I saw him on his birth day and he looked so small and peaceful.  Life is such a miracle and gift.  M knows all about my baby fever.  We talk about that time a lot.
We both know it's not the right time.  So this year, I resolve to focus on getting me right first. Getting a salaried job, my thesis mostly done and my weight where I want it to be (which btw, will still call me fat on a doctor's weight chart.)  And I guess I resolve to watch less episodes of a Baby Story and Teen Mom... that one's gonna be tricky... ;-)

6. Random Thingys and Thoughts:
I like to write and writing a thesis is scary to me.

Have you ever tried those Black Ice flavored waters from Sam's?  You should.

I switched face wash this week to philosophy's Purity. So far, so good.

Nest article re: Weight Loss Mistakes keeping us from losing weight.


I have been loving the new Maroon 5 c.d.  If you're a fan, you should look into it.

Did you know that you can upload coupons from Kroger's website onto your Kroger card?  Sure beats shuffling around the paper ones in line.

Don't waste your money on Little Fockers, but do see True Grit.

XOXO,

Here's The Deal...

So without any good excuse, it has taken me 20 days to get to my blog and start blogging about the new year, my personal goals, the usual new year rants...

Because I am getting ready to leave in like ten minutes and make my first gym appearance since early December... (shameful)... I will give you a better post(s) this afternoon... but I guess my point is... I didn't die!  I am still here, still wanting to blog about the randoms in my/our life/lives.

So for now, you will have to wait in suspense!

XOXO,

In the Calm of a Snowy Morning...

When the snow falls, I am such a big fan.  That continuous fluffy blanket of white hasn't been corrupted by dirty footprints or plows and shovels.  The millions of tiny flakes just fall into a perfect sea of white.  This morning, I woke up early to that dull before-sunrise glow of the reflecting snow.  As a young child, I always could count on at least a delay whenever I saw that orangey glow in the early morning sky. (Since in Salem, a day off was never a guarantee).

So this morning, I came downstairs, made myself a few cups of coffee and perfectly crafted omelet, in which none of my cheese fell out into the hot pan and the creation folded perfectly (always a good sign to a good day).  I opened my kitchen blinds so that I could see out.  Nowhere to be, no sense of urgency... just me, my dogs and the snow.

I feel very relaxed today.  This snow is a nice exclamation mark on the sentence of completion of all my work I have done this semester.  I am done and I am at peace... until I start Mr. Thesis, but let's not go there today.

Because today, I am calm.


XOXO,