An odd weekend.

M and I had to make a very difficult decision to rehome our little dog Tassel.  We took him to his new family yesterday.

I cried like someone died. It kinda feels like someone did. I can remember picking him out and up at eight weeks. He was my doggie. A sweet little lap companion.

But his needs are high and since I have been teaching, his quality of life with us hasn't been meeting those high needs. A six pound dog just can't be in a crate for ten plus hours.

Ivory can handle it because she is much lower maintenance.  She has been a bit off the past day but we think its probably because we are. She keeps kinda looking around like he may show up...

When we took him he just nuzzled his little head in my chest and looked up. I wonder if dogs can wonder if you're coming back for them.  I really hope not.

Keep me in your prayers. I really need them.




Ooh la la la la la la la...

Grace Potter. How did I not become obsessed with her sooner? I've been listening to gp and the nocturnals all week and loving it! I've been trying to chill through my anxiety lately. Here's what I have been listening to:

1. Paris (and this entire album)
Grace Potter and the Nocturnals
I feel so empowered by her music. I just love it.
2. Chasing Pirates
Norah Jones
3. Hold You in My Arms
Ray LaMontagne (spelling?)
4. Jolene
As written by the above, as performed by ZBB
Love Zac Browns voice and his twist on this
5. Lie in our Graves
This is always uplifting to me. It's that you'll never know til you loosen up song.
6. Adele's 21 in its entirety
7. Green Eyes
8. Will You Return
Avett Bros
9. Just bought the new Incubus cd today... reviews to follow !
10. Hell on heels
pistol annies
Ta ta for now.


Ps sorry for any crazy autocorrects as this was posted via DROID.


Computer Programmer by Day, Paranormal Investigator by Night?

Alternative Titles of This Post:
No More Ghost Hunters before bed...
When We Think Our Dreams are Real...
M Makes Me Laugh.
My Husband, The Alarmist.

Last night, we watched some Ghost Hunters on Sci Fi (nerd-gasm!) before falling asleep.  And if anyone should have been entitled to having a scary dream, it should have been me, who literally fell asleep during an investigation of a haunted castle in Europe.  However, this is M's story.  Let's be clear when I say my husband isn't necessarily a sleep talker... he occasionally mumbles during sleep, but I think we all do that, from time to time.

In the middle of the night, he jostles awake from sleep (OR WHAT LOOKED LIKE AN AWAKENED STATE**** this is a most important distinction.) and says "AUDREY Oh my God, do you see that???!" 

Groggy, unpleasantly surprised and irritated from being pulled from what was my rather pleasant dreamland (which was quite a nice and welcome vacation from my school anxiety dreams which have been plaguing me all summer long (i.e. no lesson plans, no class library, students leaving the room, being out of control... those are a whole other story)).... I said "what are you talking about?" 

"In the corner over there, do you see that shadow?"  At this point, I am a little spooked.  M is probably one of the most reasonable individuals I know, so I take his concern seriously.  I sit up in bed trying to establish the shadowing and shapes he is referring to by the door in our bedroom.  After a few moments of sleepy confusion, and what I could have sworn was M actually looking at me while I tried to negotiate this claim, I reply with a simple "I don't see anything, babe."

"Do you think our cameras will pick up that shadowing?  It's almost like what we saw in those other houses."  Let's be clear again- there are NO cameras of any kind in our bedroom- so hold thy comments. 

At this point, I realize that M is essentially talking and dreaming simultaneously.  With an appearance of being awake, this was a rare occurrence for us.  Now it's time to have a little fun...

"What kinds of things did we see in other houses?" I egged on, with a exhausted smile in the dark.

"Apparitions, shadows and beams of light. Don't you remember?" M has convinced himself of this reality.

"Are you sure I was there?  Because I don't remember being there..." I probed.

"You don't remember being there??" ::M shakes head in disappointment::

Too ashamed to go on, I say "I think you are having a dream."

"No I'm pretty sure I would know if this was a dream..."

End scene.

This morning, he remembers nothing about this event, or the dream sequence at all for that matter.  Does anyone else or anyone else's spouse or bedmate as the case may be, have perfectly lucid conversations and not remember them?




Three Posts in a Day... Unheard of!

So I am clearly feeling verrrrry chatty today.

Being OCD as I am, I have been scheming about my fall fashion...  Can I just say, fall is my favorite season to dress for?  I love the rich tones and hues... the weight of the textiles makes my heart do a little autumnal flutter.  And I am so ready for it.

First of all, QVC is fast becoming my preferred vendor.  Holy crap!  It all started with makeup, then I got into the home stuff and now, could it be?  I might be crossing into fashion.

Last night, I got raked into Isaac Mizrahi on Q (doesn't he also design a line in Tar-jay?)...Other than the purely comedic value of watching his fabulousness up there talking about clothes like a fashionista he is, he had some really beautiful fall staples.  I tots made a wishlist this morning of things I want to buy when I get money...
Um hello, fabulous brown and mustard scarf.  I must have you.

 I want this belt.  First of all, it's a stretchy belt.  Second, I love the equestrian look it has to it.  Thirdly, it's going to be great for belting anything.. dresses, cardis, tunics...

I have been searching far and wide for a fab trouser jean with a wide leg.  I can only remain hopeful that these may be them.  I do get sketched out ordering pants online, which are definitely the hardest to fit me in, even when they're tangible... but if you go by your measurements, it's usually nothing a tailor can't fix.

Believe it or not, I have never owned anything like this before.  This is a water repellent coat and the taupe color is just dreamy.  I keep envisioning this with the scarf.

Horizontal stripes... the infamous enemy of any person seeking a flattering fit.  I almost disagree here.  This is an iffy piece.  I feel like the V neck and length to cover the butt may be enough to trump conventional wisdom about stripes.  I think this boyfriend cardi is presh.

To balance a closet of casual and professional dress is challenging, but I have my eyes on these pieces that I am convinced can do both.

Cheers to fall!



Two Posts in a Day... Ambitious!

Lucky you... I'm not done talking!  Shocking, I know...

So as I last reported about a month ago (worst blogger ev!) I'm on the weight loss train.. and since then have, woohooo, lost 15 lbs!!

... and have now been the SAME WEIGHT for the past six days... I'm talking within two tenths of a pound every single day for the past week.  I don't know why that is considering I have been so freaking good.  It's a bit frustrating, but I know something has got to give sooner or later.

All I have wanted was something sweet today...from the moment my feet hit the floor I longed for something rich and decadent and filled with chocolate goodness.

Could have gone for a Bubblecake death by chocolate cupcake if I ruled the world... but alas, I settled for these Emerald Cocoa Roast almonds I bought for these very moments..  OMG they were awesome when you don't get to eat anything like this and they come in portioned 100 cal. bags which is somewhat a necessity for me...I ate each almond individually and savored the flavor.  FML. What a desperate nerd I have become.



Milestone Events Month?!

Hola, dear friends!  What is up with these past few weeks??  There is abundant happiness everywhere.  And I freaking LOVE it.

Three people I know tied the knot Saturday and I asked my BFF if pregnancy was a communicable disease this morning.

I shit you not I know five people who announced being with child in the past couple weeks... and know of more who are working on it or have already been PG. And also know of a baby who was born today.  Life is so blessed and such a blessing.

Something is in the air!  Or we're just getting to the age where people aren't just getting married everywhere around us, but creating life everywhere around us.


(whose new profile name is Mrs. O. because I created a classroom blog with my current gmail account rather than making a new gmail account...winning!)


Getting Back in the Saddle...

Hi friends!  Sorry I was M I A last week- we had 1920s weddinging to tend to for my dear friend, Maddie.  Definitely had a great time catching up with old friends.  It always shows me how blessed I am to have them in my life.

However, what has not been a great time for me was reflecting on the photos from said event.  It definitely helps your life to see yourself in pictures, I think.  You get a sense of reality much different than what you construct seeing yourself every day in the mirror.  Holy tightwhiteflapperdressandchinsandjowls, I have GOT to get back in the saddle!

So that, my friends, I am doing... it's day one.  And I feel like crap like all the day ones before...but then you also feel a twinge of hopeful, too.  As a professional dieter, I'm just kinda done having to do a day one.  I've said it before, but for reals...  You get in this place of self-loathing that you are having to back step and lose the same weight all over again.  But then again, if you can do it once, you can do it again.

Away from my Debbie Downer-ness... here is some motivating, feel good tune-age for fresh starts!

1. With My Own Two Hands  Ben Harper
2. Natural Woman  Aretha Franklin
3. Extraordinary  Better Than Ezra
4. I Gotta Feeling Black Eyed Peas
5. The First Day of My Life Bright Eyes (okay I'm being a little schmoozy/gushy/romantic on that one... but God bless my darling husband!)
6. Weight of the World Chantal Kreviazuk
7. Everyday DMB
8. Take it Easy The Eagles
9. Freedom George Michael
10. Don't Stop Til You Get Enough Michael Jackson

So cheers to you friends (raising unsweetened green tea/double-fisting with a liter of water...)!  Have wonderful and safe holiday weekends.



"I've Always Depended on the Kindness of Strangers"

In high school, I can remember studying Tennessee Williams' "A Streetcar Named Desire" in both English 9 class with the esteemed Walter Robinson and in theatre class.  I can remember this because I enjoyed it was flat out obsessed with those deep South accents and twisty characters.  I enjoyed TN Wms so much, in fact, that I bring Streetcar up on my blog this very day.  Blanche DuBois, the fragile femme lead featured in the play, has a line she says right before she is taken away to a mental institution that always stuck with me...

"I've always depended on the kindness of strangers."

I believe the obvious interpretation on this line exposes Blanche's many inner weaknesses.  And you may say I am crazy and reaching far to make this connection... but in her largest moment of vulnerability, that is what Blanche DuBois chose to say... so I say...

What if we could all say this when we're at rock bottom?  Wouldn't it be nice if we also could depend on the kindness of strangers?

These are days where people must earn the trust of most people before anyone would let anyone depend of their kindness.  And kindness is not given freely as much as it needs to be.

Over the weekend, there was a car fire at the restaurant.  A severe blaze, really.  A mother and son who were coming to enjoy a Sunday meal at the restaurant, instead, were stunned as their transportation burned before their eyes.

Two twenty-something women were also dining with us Sunday. I should have checked them both for angel wings.  Of their own free choice, they took it upon themselves to stay with this family.  They came in and retrieved lemonades for them while they were dealing with the aftermath.  They walked in and checked them in to eat once the hustle had died down... and they even sat, hours after their own meal, with this mother and son while they had their meal.  These folks were complete strangers to them.  But these women chose to take their Sunday afternoon to comfort them with their company during this incident.  It really got me thinking... would I have taken the time to do that for someone I didn't even know?

These kind women were definitely my age... so you can't tell me it's because they are seasoned and have "life experience" that they stayed.  

It was a selflessness.  A purity of soul... it's what we should want to be.  We should want to provide any and every stranger with that special kindness that comes from within.  It speaks so much more powerfully than a message on the sleeve.



A Long Lost Blogger

Hi friends!

I told some of you I would be back after school let out for summer and I am meaning to tell you I cannot disappoint!  It's my first Monday off and here I am with some random thoughts... shocking.

I have realized I am a terribly inconsistent blogger.  And that's okay because most of the people who follow me are people I know and they understand my spasticness.  Thank goodness. :-)

What's shufflin' Early Summer 2011:
1. Can't Tell Me Nothing                       Kanye West
2. Every Teardrop is a Waterfall            Coldplay
3. Do It For You, Do It For Us             Ben Harper
4. Party Rock Anthem                           LMFAO
5. Knee Deep                                       ZBB and Jimmy Buffett
6. Tonight Tonight                                 Hot Chelle Rae
7. Rumour Has It                                  Adele
8. Tripping Billies                                  DMB
9. Alumni Blues                                     Phish
10. Summertime                                   Will Smith and DJ Jazzy Jeff

Projects in Progress:
1. Walking dogs more frequently
Ivory's apparently overweight... apparently.. and now eating food she barely likes and on an exercise regimen.  Tassel, however, needs to gain weight, but also needs walks for his "separation anxiety and general anxiety issues"
2. Leveling my class library
This is going to be a beast but worth it.  I need to find the reading levels for all the titles I have so far for my classroom and organize the books into bins.
3.Wrapping up research and beginning writing for thesis ****** (Eighty thousand asterisks and emphasis!)
I'm not gonna lie, I'm behind... like possibly a month behind.  My personal goal is to have a first draft turned out by September.
4.Accumulating stuff for my classroom
Nuff said.

Projects Approaching:
1. Menu Planning System
Matt says I wander through the grocery store like a lost child.  He suggested I start being a more thoughtful consumer and plan the week's meals before setting foot in the store.
2. Couponing? (maybe?)
I am so intrigued, yet so intimidated.
3. Cricut Bulletin Board things (once I figure out which subject(s) I am teaching)
4. Painting upstairs bathroom
It needs a facelift.
5. Reading... for pleasure.
I want to read Water for Elephants.

Things I love lately:
1. Dried Mangoes
2. Burnett's Orange Cream Vodka
So classy right now and excellent in Orange Soda.
3. My Cricut
Best birthday gift in awhile from M.
4. Employment
So blessed to have a position for next year in third grade.
5. Where the Heart Is
I Netflixed this the other day and I had forgotten how excellent it is!



Things I have Missed Sharing! (Lengthy!)

1. I am back in the gym... 
And it is carnage.  It is a slow and sore start for which I am wholly responsible for having to endure.  Student teaching was kind of really hard on me- definitely the most stressful scholarly semester I have experienced ever.  Consequently as November soared in with multiple observations and essentially teaching full time for the first time, my gym visits rapidly declined.  I still went, but what good is it really to go twice a week (see Nest article in #6)?  Come December, I went a zero times.  These months of falling off the exercise (and eating) wagon have backtracked me considerably.  So here I go.  I am ready to be obsessed with how exercising feels again.  I'm tired of crying over Biggest Loser episodes, even though I still will. :)

I dropped my overpriced Gold's membership and moved my membership to Planet Fitness.  I like it a lot!  There are tons of machines and the environment is good.  I think I will be really happy there.  Shameless plug for Planet Fitness: I am paying 20 bucks/month for gym, unlimited guest privileges (basically, anyone can come with me as much as every day if they want. If ya wanna tag along, hit me up!), unlimited tanning (I am disgustingly white right now and feeling like ass because of that fact), unlimited massage chairs, half price drinks... it's just the way to go for me... This effectively save us $45.50/month between saved tanning and gym expenses.

2. I have developed a slight relationship with Jersey Shore for the first time. (Do you like how I had to share this one before number 3?)
How did I ever stay away from Snooki, JWoww, The Situation and the gang?!  I have been missing out on the trainwreck that is the Jersey Shore!!  Why didn't someone tell me of this trashy hilarity?  I'm sorry, but if you can't find any entertainment value in this show, it's your own fault.  It's a hilarious spectacle. I think I should make Jersey Shore names for all my friends...

3. I got a new job!
I am delighted to inform you all of my new job with a local elementary school!  I am helping about 10 students in grades 3-5 throughout most of their school day and for two hours every afternoon. (M-F 9-5).  These children are experiencing difficulties decoding and need help achieving in reading.  I am completely excited about starting this job and meeting these kids.  I am also excited that it could translate into a classroom position for next fall if I work hard and show I can get results!

4. The holidays went well.
This is worth saying.  We ran around the region over Christmas, but it is always like that.  As much as I love spending time with my family, sometimes I wish we could bring everyone to us.  Maybe when we have babes, this will be easier to accomplish.  I really want my kids to wake up slow at home on Christmas morning.

5. A few  Several unspoken resolutions:
1. Be a better friend, daughter, sister and wife.
I always want to do this.  I find it is more important now than ever.

2. Be more faith-full.
Not in my marriage, but in my heart.  I need to have more faith in God.  I want to be able to relinquish control of some of the plaguing situations I face, and know that He will take of it.  Maybe it won't be the way that makes sense to me, but it will be taken care of.

3. Get these floors/carpets redone in some capacity. 
I am tired of these shitty carpets.  So is Matt.  I believe this will be a tax refund investment.

4. Land a classroom teaching position.
I am closer all the time with my new position.  I still plan to apply to a few other districts across the region, too.

5. Concentrate on my fitness, not my impending baby fever.
This probably should be its own post, but alas...Since I was a little girl, I always knew I would be a mom.  To be honest, it might be is a stronger and more permanent aspiration than any other I have had.  Since about last summer, the baby fever is sweeping in.  And lately people all around me are pregnant and experiencing the miracle of birth.  I have a sorority sister who lives in Kentucky; I met her in Palm Springs for our soror's convention.  She and I managed to become facebook friends and I have followed her marriage and life virtually.  After a long bout of trying to conceive, she did.  She is a beautiful writer and has written about her pregnancy in a blog.  It brings tears to my eyes a lot of the time.  Things like that make me look forward to our time.  I have a new little cousin as of Monday.  I saw him on his birth day and he looked so small and peaceful.  Life is such a miracle and gift.  M knows all about my baby fever.  We talk about that time a lot.
We both know it's not the right time.  So this year, I resolve to focus on getting me right first. Getting a salaried job, my thesis mostly done and my weight where I want it to be (which btw, will still call me fat on a doctor's weight chart.)  And I guess I resolve to watch less episodes of a Baby Story and Teen Mom... that one's gonna be tricky... ;-)

6. Random Thingys and Thoughts:
I like to write and writing a thesis is scary to me.

Have you ever tried those Black Ice flavored waters from Sam's?  You should.

I switched face wash this week to philosophy's Purity. So far, so good.

Nest article re: Weight Loss Mistakes keeping us from losing weight.

I have been loving the new Maroon 5 c.d.  If you're a fan, you should look into it.

Did you know that you can upload coupons from Kroger's website onto your Kroger card?  Sure beats shuffling around the paper ones in line.

Don't waste your money on Little Fockers, but do see True Grit.



Here's The Deal...

So without any good excuse, it has taken me 20 days to get to my blog and start blogging about the new year, my personal goals, the usual new year rants...

Because I am getting ready to leave in like ten minutes and make my first gym appearance since early December... (shameful)... I will give you a better post(s) this afternoon... but I guess my point is... I didn't die!  I am still here, still wanting to blog about the randoms in my/our life/lives.

So for now, you will have to wait in suspense!