Movie Review: Eclipse

Okay so let me lay this foundation for you to first establish my lack of Twilight fanaticism.  Matt and I have seen both of the prior releases and in theaters...  We liked the general story and special effects in 1 and 2.  But it's important to know that I do not in any way shape or form freak the hell out about Twilight.  I don't assign myself to Team Edward or Team Jacob because I am simply not eat up with the Twilight fever.  I'm also not a 16 year old girl waiting in line for a midnight rose-colored glasses have not made an appearance for my perceptions of this saga.

Eclipse, by my estimations, in a word, sucked.  In a few words, fell below my expectations.  Before people start unfriending me on facebook, hear me out.  I have legit reasons for my opinion.

1.  Nothing happened.
The plot here was under-developed and only seemed to scratch the surface of what it could have become.  There was more potential to developing a good plot, but the focus was too much on point number two.

2. It's a wishy washy love triangle.
Memorizing lines was likely a breeze for Bella when you only need to commit a few phrases to memory:
I love you.  No, I don't love you.  You know I don't think of you like that.  Kiss me.  I haven't changed my mind about becoming a vampire for you.  I want you.
Problem is, she is saying this shit to both guys and this is the whole damn movie.  The scriptwriting/ possibly the book writing was incredibly heavy-handed.  There was no subtly.  As my husband put it, "I think a 16 year old girl who has never experienced anything wrote this script."  This point was the biggest turnoff.

3. When I think a fight scene is the highlight of a love story, something is wrong.
The effects in the fight scenes were cool, but let's talk about how that's not normally what I buzz over...

4. Bella pisses me off.
I started noticing stuff like the extra length in her two front teeth.  And then there is how she always looks confused and holds her mouth partially open when other characters are talking (see photo).  Her voice is like dripping paint.  I'm over it.

5.  Redeeming quality: I like the Cullen family.
I could drink beers with Carlisle, Alice and the gang.  I was much more interested in learning about some of their family's history of becoming a vampire than the elementary love triangle.

We decided to Netflix the next chapters in this saga.  So not worth $19.50 for us.

2.5 stars out of 5.


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